Seeking a Friend for the Beginning of the World

Two recent college grads seek platonic relationships on the upper west side. Non-smoking. Non-boring. Pets preferred.

Seeking someone who is kind, but not too happy. Likes books, but not pretentious. Likes God, but doesn't go door to door. Preferably single, 18-28, attractive (but not hotter than us).

Looking for supplements to friends on the west coast. Friends who were partial to the nose-boop form of affection, some who thought it was cool to read poems out loud, some who would rather read reddit posts. Some who would make us coffee in the mornings with just the right amount of creamer and share their spoons. Others who would brew a whole pot, then let it sit there day after day, microwaving cups full until it ran out. Friends who would make fun of professors. Friends who were professors. Friends who liked to climb on roofs and listen to indie music. Friends who looked good on the dance floor; some who could read our minds. Friends who ate entirely too many cupcakes. Friends who spoke the rare dialect of gersberms. A few who understood the vast metaphorical implications of Harry Potter and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Some who wrote romantic letters in cursive and some whose chemistry notes were pretty much illegible. Friends who would leave post-its on our desks when we were having bad days and friends who would drive us around all night until we felt normal again. Some who are unforgettable; most who are irreplaceable.

But please contact us if you're willing to try.